Stop Santa! sign now

Santa jolly old man or criminal at large?

Over the years, we grew up in a confused trance, believing that so so-called Santa figure will, on the 25th of every December, bring us presents through the chimney. But here at waffle inc. we believe otherwise. He appears to be an overall donning, red hat wearing old man, but in reality he is a criminal mastermind. Every year, he sickens me with his false sense of love that every child experiences. I have compiled a list of criminal offenses that should have earned him a spot in death row, not in the hearts of our youth.
Breaking and Entering (thru the chimney)
Stealing (Do you think HE bought that milk and those cookies?!?!?)
Materialistic Plagiarism (He takes your parents presents and writes that theyre his)
Discrimination on the Basis of Height (He forces elves to work for him just because they are short)
Discrimination on the Basis of Religion (He makes people start to relate Christmas with Santa Clause and not its original purpose, Jesus Birthday ((Look at the word Christmas, people!)))
Kidnapping (He captured Rudolph and forced him to light the sleighs path)
Public Obscenity (Think of his catch phrase that he yells out)
And, last but not least, Illegal Imigration (He goes around the world every year, but does he have a passport? I dont think so. And if he did have a passport)
Perhaps Fraud (It would be fake! He cant get a real passport with his name and picture and everything else on it, or else they would catch him. Hes at large, people, AT LARGE!)

Now do you see what the man is doing? Santas connected to The Man, obviously, its a conspiracy. Stop the madness. Sign the petition to stop Santa, and help stop the man!

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Alicia NorrisBy:
AnimalsIn:
Petition target:
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