Request for Channel 4 to PLEASE stop broadcasting FAQ U sign now

Dear Channel 4

Hello. You dont know me. My names James. Now, Ive watched Channel 4 for pretty much as long as I remember. And Im no stranger to terrible programming on your channel. I remember Jam. I remember Biker Mice From Mars. However, I was willing to let those things slide. We all make mistakes sometimes.

However, theres one thing I really cant let slide. FAQ U. Oh yes.

Now, I for one think theres far too much Jimmy Carr on Channel 4 and would be the first to have him surgically extracted. However, you can imagine my astonishment at discovering a show on your channel that did not feature the aforesaid Mr. Carr, and yet would probably benefit immensely from his presence. Its that bad.

In the first half of one episode we had jokes about wiping penises on small childrens faces, a caption competition that had all the wit and humour of a fart at Pope John Pauls funeral, a nice, well thought out skit that the police must be racist, and a glorification of not voting because it was apparently a cool thing to do. Now, Im not being harsh, but given the level of intellect in the studio, Id imagine most of the people featured on the show would consider it cool to be given a colouring book and a few crayons.

Also the show appears to suffer from the trauma of having a host who is incapable of not saying rock and roll! roughly every five seconds in an effort to cover up the fact that no-one has anything to say.

Now, normally, I couldnt care less about Channel 4 making appalling programmes. After all, I tried caring about it and it didnt stop you. However, this is different. Given the time of broadcast and the overly self-conscious yoof element of FAQ U, I can only presume that youre aiming at a student audience. This would be all well and good, but I have this nagging doubt at the back of my mind that in about five years time, youll be running a clip show entitled The Top 100 TV Moments of the 2000s or something similar, and Im struck with this panic that FAQ U will be featured in it. As an example of top youth-orientated programming. With Jimmy Carr narrating.

This means that future generations will look back on mine and decide that we were all cretins who were incapable of being toilet trained and would laugh at anything because someone with a smug face said something. Im not prepared to let that happen. Not on my watch. Therefore I demand in the interests of the future of the human race that take FAQ U off our screens before it does any more damage. At this rate the Governments going to raise fees even more and kill our student loans if they think theyre paying for the sort of people who find this show funny.

If I wanted to watch low-level, unfunny, satirical drivel late at night Id set my video for Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow and then watch it when I got back from the pub. Look, please, me (and everyone else whos signed this petition) beg you to take FAQ U off our screens. Even the naked Germans in Eurotrash were better than this.

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