Reform, Remake and Rebuild the Internet! sign now

The internet has become an integral part of everyday life, it's unavoidable and unstoppable. It was created originally as the Euronet by the British in an attempt to create a form of communication that could survive if the world went up in a nuclear holocaust-- they succeeded, and oh, how the mighty have fallen. Between international controversies (such as the drawn depiction of Muhammad) and terrorist organizations (primarily 4Chan's anonymous), the internet has become an untamed beast, one of almost biblical proportions.

Our mission is to heavily police the internet. I'm talking about permanently banning websites like 4Chan, FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, Friendster and any and all forum-based websites. Things like spam, e-stalkers, e-sex offenders and hate speech and cyberbullying will be a thing of the past. The ability to post comments on anything from pictures to videos will be completely outlawed. Even activities such as starting internet petitions like this one will be illegal. Everyone who surfs the web will be monitored by advanced computer filtration software located in government buildings all across the world. Everyone will behave because everyone will have to behave.

There are six steps.

The first step is to outlaw any and all forms of the *Chan websites and strip the terrorist organization known as "Anonymous" of its power. Every website affiliated with 4Chan and Anonymous will be deleted and their servers destroyed by specially trained technicians, anyone who tries to stop this will be arrested. Sites such as FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter and Friendster will also be deleted.

The second step is to outlaw any and all forms of discussion on the internet. Ranging from posting comments on videos, music and pictures, to internet forums to online petitions such as this one. Any and every comment ever posted by anyone will be deleted, as will their affiliated message boards. This is limited to email and instant messengers which remain legal but are heavily monitored.

The third step is to create a program capable of deleting the archives of the 'deep web,' also known as the 'dark net.' With every piece of information that is affiliated with the first two steps destroyed, the internet can have a fresh start, free from the reign of Anonymous, hate-mongers and bullies.

The fourth step is to create an advanced filtration program that will monitor everyone using the internet from base-buildings in government buildings around the globe. This filtration program will search everyone's activity for keywords that could link a person to terrorism, treason, affiliation with underground organizations or sexual deviance, etc. The program will be built to view keywords in context and meaning through a massive database of key phrases and contexts. Things like file-sharing and torrents will be outlawed. It will put an end to any and all evil-doings on the internet.

The fifth step is to monopolize the internet's main functions. This means combining companies like Google, Yahoo, Bing, YouTube and Wikipedia into one massive system that will serve as a multipurpose search engine, video-viewing and encyclopedia. This new supersite will be heavily policed, moderated and watched by professionals.

The final step is to spread awareness that the internet is a place to do business like shopping and selling, watch educational videos and gather and learn information from the massive encyclopedia and search engine. There is nothing else the internet is for, if you want to be a terrorist, bully or just a general nuisance, you can do it offline.

The goal here is to get people off the computer and back into the real world. There's so much more to do in the real world than online. Our mission is one of peace and sincerity that can only be brought about through the destruction of certain freedoms. Right now we're living in the Wild West days of the internet, but order will be brought to the chaos, and the only way to bring about order is by force, peaceful force of course, but force nonetheless. Don't delay, end the chaos of Anonymous' reign and put the terrorists in their place!

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Miriam MoodyBy:
TelecommunicationsIn:
Petition target:
People seeking peace in the online world.

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