Petition for Steven Seagal to portray mall Santa sign now

We the undersigned wish to see Steven Seagal play a mall Santa with a CIA background taking out terrorists who are trying to steal the nation's supply of stuffed panda bears. He finds that one of his elf protege's were in on an extortion plot involving the stuffing of Pez dispensers with crystal meth and has to chase him down in a Barbie Powerwheels jeep while downing chinese potions. He must snap at least two body parts of everyone on the movie set (including camera crew) within an alotted time that will be displayed on the bottom-left corner of the screen. The bottom right side of the screen will tell how many conspiracies he has thought up involving environmental policies and the non-sensical B.S. he's known for. When he reaches 325 conspiracy theories (based on an average per past movie) he will run like a girl to Romania to take on Sally Struthers who is there eating half the nation's food supply. We wish for Steven to begin filming "Hard to Sleigh" promptly before he gains weight and his hairline receeds...(scratch that part...)

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Lenore RichmondBy:
LGTBIn:
Petition target:
William Morris Agency

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