Make Petitions Unlawful and Punishable by Death sign now

Today marks a great day in the history of man. Today we, the undersigned, stand up and say "NO MORE." No more tyranny. No more oppression. No more...uh, slavery? Today is a day much like other important days in history. Days where women were given the right to vote and somebody crossed the Atlantic in an airplane. DAYS! Days similar in to when JFK died, and so did that guy in the Beatles. Not the one guy, the one that got stabbed and managed to live, but the guy that people liked more than others. He wrote that song! You know. The one that Forrest Gump inspired him to write. Speaking of Forrest Gump, today is like the day that Tom Hanks decided, "I will no longer be confined to being a credible actor. Instead, I will play a retard! And I will win the Oscar!"

No longer will we have to question, "Could 24,610 people really be wrong? Should Kaysar be exempt from eviction this week on Big Brother?" To that question, I say, YES! 24,610 can be wrong. Want to know why? Because, even if 24,610,000 people sign the petition saying that Kaysar should be allowed to stay on Big Brother, nothing will change. It will just prove that 24,610,000 people can make the same moot point, and have the same moot opinion.

Allow me to let you in on a little secret...petitions don't work. Especially online ones. Your crappy petition will never end the war and it will never end world hunger. They're just a waste of time, like this one, and should all be banned. Anyone that makes or signs petitions should be sentenced to death (excluding me, but not you.) Petitiononlines.com's proof that petitions have so much significance? http://www.petitiononline.com/comments.html. Well, Iman from San Jose says, "Thanks for your good customer service." WOW! Great evidence that this page isn't a total waste of time. Thank fucking God, the customer service is great!

So seriously, let's cut this shit out and think the next time before we start a petition bitching about a reality show. Besides, everything is scripted anyway. If you really want to make sure Kaysar sticks around until the end of Big Brother, here's what you have to do: Murder the rest of the cast. Until you grow the balls to make a real difference, shut up and slam your head through your monitor.

Sign The Petition

Sign with Facebook
OR

If you already have an account please sign in, otherwise register an account for free then sign the petition filling the fields below.
Email and the password will be your account data, you will be able to sign other petitions after logging in.

Privacy in the search engines? You can use a nickname:

Attention, the email address you supply must be valid in order to validate the signature, otherwise it will be deleted.

I confirm registration and I agree to Usage and Limitations of Services

I confirm that I have read the Privacy Policy

I agree to the Personal Data Processing

Shoutbox

Who signed this petition saw these petitions too:

Sign The Petition

Sign with Facebook
OR

If you already have an account please sign in

Comment

I confirm registration and I agree to Usage and Limitations of Services

I confirm that I have read the Privacy Policy

I agree to the Personal Data Processing

Goal
0 / 50

Latest Signatures

No one has signed this petition yet

Information

Mattie DuffyBy:
Technology and the InternetIn:
Petition target:
All of you idiots that make, and sign, online petitions

Tags

No tags

Share

Invite friends from your address book

Embed Codes

direct link

link for html

link for forum without title

link for forum with title

Widgets