Keep Mr. Elliott at Faith sign now

We love Mr. Elliott. He got a call to another school. We want him to stay. SIGN THIS PETITION TO MAKE HIM STAY!!! Here are some great memories that we had with him...

Part One- The Beginning and a Pyromaniac

It all started back in the summer before 6th grade. We were going to get a new teacher, and we didn't know who it was. Well, we go to school and find out that it's this dude (literally, a dude.. He was only, like, 23). The first week, our brilliant teacher is teaching us about chemical reactions. He lights a small piece of paper on fire & it kind of gets out of hand. He tries to stomp it out with his foot (while his 6th graders are almost on the floor laughing). Then, the 7th & 8th graders smelled smoke, so the principal (who is also the 7-8th grade teacher) pulls the fire alarm & the entire school evacuates. The 6th graders line up & we are still laughing. The principal gets mad (like he always does). Then, our new teacher (we'll call him Mr. E.) says that it was him that lit the fire. The principal laughed & sent us back to our classes.

Part Two- Couches and Tables

Every year, Mr. E. has a table & a couch in his classroom. When we have silent reading time, he will draw cards with the students names written on them to choose who gets to sit on the couch (everyone else has to sit in their desks). The table isn't too sturdy, but Mr. E. insists on standing on it when he is teaching Language Arts. Also, he has a stool (last year, it was a plain brown stool, this year it's a stool with flames on it) that he sits on while teaching Reading. However, when showing the kids in Algebra what to do, he puts the stool on the rickety table and sits on the stool.

Part Three- Art and Razorblades

Mr. E. is quite fond of Art projects. Unfortunately, most of them don't work too well. However, for our Thanksgiving play this year, Mr. E. decided that we should dress up like Turkeys and do an Ugly Duckling-type play. How cute. So, he gives us Turkey faces to colour and tries to figure out how to make the feathers stand up. Suddenly, he yells, "Does anyone have a razor?!!" I can't believe he just asked that. Why the hell would 7-8th graders have a razor? He said that if someone did, they wouldn't be in trouble. (No one did.) So, he ended up using a pair of scissors to cut out our masks. Genius.

Part Four- Names on the Board

Mr. E. became famous for what happened when you got in trouble. He would point at you with his whole and say, "Your name..." then, point to the whiteboard where the list of troublemakers were and say, "...Is on the board." A certain 8th grader who will remain nameless thought it was the most hilarious-est thing in the entire world and laughed every time Mr. E would do such a thing. Of course, all that earned Kyle was "a name... On the board."

Part Five- Frustrated Lectures

Mr. E. also became notorious for getting frustrated with the class he would like nothing better than to call "stupid". That was completely absurd, though, because all of the smart kids (and I include myself in this category, however humiliating it may be) shouted out answers. One day, Mr. E. lost it. He started yelling at the students and telling them how hard the teachers work to give them a wonderful education. Then, when one of the smart kids called out the answer to the next question. What did Mr. E. say but, "Your name... is on the board."

Part Six- Porno Talks and More Names on the Board

While we're on the topic of talking, a girl who goes by the name of Carey is the biggest loudmouths in the entire school. She's a straight-A student who has trouble spelling the word "have". However, she also has one of the dirtiest minds in the 8th grade. Mr. E., while caught up in his work on Microsoft Power Point, doesn't hear her talking about disgusting, almost pornographic, things. *Coughblowjobscough*! She gets off scot-free while I get my name on the board for saying "damn".

Part Seven- Math and Journal

Math of any kind has always been a pain for 5th graders & up. Once you hit 5th grade, you receive a book & are on your own. However, when you start pre-Algebra, obviously you need to get some help with it. So, there are two teachers for the entire 6th-8th grade... Which is only about 40 kids anyway. But, imagine 40 kids trying to get help from two teachers at once. The rule is, quite simply: If you don't turn in one math lesson a day, then you have to stay inside for recess or after school to finish it. It's your job to get help. Few people turned in math lessons on time, so Mr. E. set up a brilliant solution: You turn in one math lesson each morning. During that time, you are to be working on your journal, & if you dont finish it, you don't get a sticker, which means that your Language Arts grade is lowered.

Part Eight- Party with No Principal!

One day, the principal got sick and was out of school. The 7-8th graders celebrated of course, but we were upset that we could not have computer class. Mr. E. taught us in the afternoon that day, &, I have to say, we had one of the biggest parties in the school.

Part Nine- Computer Lab and Viruses

Speaking of the computer lab... 8th graders in my school are notorious for bringing up some of the most outrageous pop-ups on the computer. One innocent day in the computer lab, I nearly fall out of my chair laughing. On my monitor is, what else, a scantily-clad woman with a speech balloon saying, "Hey sexy". Then, she proceeded to install a virus on my computer, infecting the other computers. To this day, our Pentium 3 processors run like total mush.

Part Ten- E-mail and Other Websites

And, while we're still on the subject of computers, I'd like to tell you about the consequences (and side-effects) of checking your e-mail on one of the school computers. First, if you get caught, Mr. E. takes away all of your computer privileges and says that you can hand-write everything, even reports. Second, your e-mail address is saved on that computer, so if someone went to Yahoo dot com or AOL dot com, they would find your e-mail address. And what would they do? Send my scantily-clad friend over to my e-mail address & infect the Pentium 4's I have at home, of course.

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Paige HardinBy:
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FLS Board of Education

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