Hollywood: Stop making bad movies sign now

We, the movie watchers of the world, are concerned about the quality of movies coming out in theaters today. We know about the box office slump. The slump is your own fault. If you were making good, entertaining movies, there would be no slump. If you were making enjoyable movies, we would gladly go to the theaters and spend our money on your masterpieces. Unfortunately, what you are giving us is crap. Here is a list of requests from us to you:

1. Stop making remakes. We don't need to see the same movie twice. If the original was good, we can rent it. If the original was not good, then you should not remake it.

2. Stop making sequels unless they are based on books. When you make a movie with a "2" after it, it is quite obvious that you are just trying to cash in on the success of the first one. We are not stupid. We know that all sequels are made with the intent of robbing us at the box office. You hire half-wit writers and bad directors and pretend it's going to be just as good as the first. Well, it's not so stop making them.

3. Stop hiring your wife's nephew or your first cousin once removed to direct and write bad movies. They aren't qualified and they suck, so just tell them to go back to Hawaii and work on their tans while they text message their friends about the L.A. club scene and what Paris Hilton was wearing last night.

4. Stop hiring the same people over and over again. Why do so many movies seem exactly the same and unoriginal? Well duh! You hardly ever let new people in. The same idiots are making the same movies over and over. Every once in a while, look at a writer or independent filmmaker who isn't famous yet. They may actually have (gasp) talent!

5. Stop paying stars so much. We don't really worship them like you think we do. We think they are spoiled and we don't want to pay 10 bucks for a movie just to make them even richer.

6. What's with all these dumb romantic comedies that have been coming out? Gag me, please. The word "comdedy" means that it's supposed to be funny. Old cliched jokes just don't do it for us, ya know?

7. Speaking of comedy, when a comedic megastar *cough*Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, etc.*cough* says they want you to back their RIDICULOUS movie *cough*DeuceBigalow2, Starsky and Hutch*cough*, tell them NO. Tell them that while they have actually made great funny movies in the past, their new idea is STUPID and you are not going to give them any money for it.

8. Make a variety of movies for us to see. When we go to the theater, we want to have a choice. More often than not, they are all unappealing. Make sure you always have a family movie, a movie for young teens, some for older teens, and some for adults.

9. Stop overhyping. When you overhype a movie, that is a cue to us that it is going to suck. If it was good, you wouldn't have to shove it in our faces. That actually makes us so sick of it that we don't want to see it.

10. Stop using overexposed stars. We don't like them. We want them to go away. They suck.

Thank you very much, and if you follow these simple rules when making movies, you will find that the slump will go away.

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Catalina LevineBy:
City LifeIn:
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