Hit and Run Manager-Elect, Keith Vann sign now

This petition is a plea to Keith L. Vann to assume the management of "Hit and Run," Bissell Lab softball team, est. 2004. Hit and Run is suffering a void in leadership due to the departure of esteemed manager, Melissa C. Adriance, who has been head-hunted to run a major league team in Santa Monica. A replacement is urgently required with comparable levels of passion and fortitude. We, the undersigned, believe that Mr. Vann is the ideal candidate for this position and hereby prostrate ourselves at his feet and beg him to lead our team to another illustrious 2-6 season.