Fix Your Sucky Life Now sign now

Lifes difficult at many times. Some situations are impossible to deal with or get out of. But fortunately , theres a solution. A once in a life time offer!

Ever have a report due the next day. Dont worry, just call 1-800-IWorshipU.
Your teacher or boss wont be there to accept it so youll have extra time.
-Note possiblity that they might not be able to come back

Lets say your boyfriend dumps you for some overrated girl.Well we will make sure that , as will smith said, he wont be able to get jiggy with it.

Another example is , if your a goth and jocks pick on you/beat you up, anything at all this can easily be delt with. Put it this way, the only balls they will be playing with is their own in the hospital!

Your wondering how can this be , all this . Such an amazing offer! Well were not done yet!


All life support for the price of only YOUR SOUL. And to amaze you even more, we will throw in a Easy Bake Oven for free! Like we said because this is an amazing offer, we will throw in one Concussion Brick for free as well. Its really quite simple to use. In class when you are wanting to go home but your too lazy to come up with a good excuse, simply take the Concussion Brick out and slam it against the worthless head of yours. And if that doesnt knock you out, no worries we will gladly come to your school and crack the brick accross your head.

-Note we are not held responsible for any customers who do not wake up.

So all you have to do is sign this petition and immediately call us with your pathetic life problems!If you have any further questions about our deal/product contact us at [email protected] . -Josh Duggan

-By signing this you clarify that your soul is now mine, no refunds.

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Donna GravesBy:
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Petition target:
All people with suck lives

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