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The scientific community still continues to denounce the Sheinberg Trans-Dimensional Theory of Masturbation. This theory states that while in another dimension, proceeding to have intercourse or rape your genetic counterpart is in fact classified as an act of masturbation.
Discovered by Sir Isaac Touches Self in 1802, this theory is the cornerstone of the scientific laws of the universe. Denying this theory and it's implications on the world of science only causes further delay from a brave new world of beastiality and incest.
So, Please Mr. Scientist, recognize this theory.

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Sharron SimpsonBy:
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Mr. Scientist

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