Conspiracy Theorists - A Plea of Truth sign now

After the South Park episode 1009, "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" premiered, millions of wrist cutting conspiracy theorists, or Keepers of the Truth and Grand Arcanum (as they like to be called), were upset...Nay, they were shocked.

How could any sane person believe that Condeleeza Rice isn't actually asian (it's in the last name, you fools!) or that September 11th wasn't caused by lizard people? And then...South Park came out and mocked them in various other ways. What were they to do?

Well, the short story is that they got angry. These conspiracy kids went out and ranted to anyone with an internet connection about how poor and oppressed they were. They threatened to boycott South Park and other related entities. However, like usual, they did nothing. Even so, many of them threatened such extreme measures as suicide to make their point.

So, to all you conspiracy crazies:

Please, if you are considering suicide after this tragic event, and own a webcam...It would be beneficial for a multitude of people were you to broadcast this event via your webcam. Because...Well, nobody cares if you live or die and we're bored.

In the case that you are both female and hot (sorry, but we have to be strict on this...no fatties) then we ask that rather than commit suicide, you just do a strip show and various other things that we may or may not chooose to ask you to do. You can still cut your wrists or something, but only after you e-whore yourself out.

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Robyn MackBy:
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Conspiracy N00bs

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