Brian Godzilla Salmi Public School sign now

We, the undersigned citizens of Thunder Bay, native sons and daughters of Thunder Bay and former citizens of Thunder Bay, hereby petition the Lakehead Bored of Education to change the name of Agnew H. Johnston Public School to Brian Godzilla Salmi Public School.

The humble and esteemed Brian Godzilla Salmi (Salmi) is a native son of Thunder Bay who has, over the course of his sometime illustrious, sometimes sad and pathetic life, toiled endlessly to make the world a better place for the entire human family (except for the bad people). As a political activist, Salmi has campaigned to rid the world of nuclear weapons, end the tyranny of communism in the former Soviet Bloc and assure that we do not pass on a diseased toilet of a planet to future generations. Like millions of others who worked for a better world before him, Salmi has been arrested and jailed dozens of times for his actions.

As a journalist, Salmi has churned out hundreds of thousands of thought provoking, blood curdling, laughter inducing column inches of copy. Salmis tireless, heroic efforts as a member of the 4th Estate so enraged the former Speaker of the Legislature of British Columbia that he had Salmi jailed on a trumped up charge of sedition and treason.

As the leader-schmeader of the Rhino Party, Salmi has consumed swimming pools of intoxicating fluids and suitcases full of other mind altering substances in his efforts to attain the shamanic enlightenment necessary to provide a vision for all Canadians in these dark, troubled, too often humourless times. And, yes, Salmi has been jailed for that, too.

Perhaps most importantly, Salmi is a role model for other poor, white trash children. Salmis life gives proof to the fact that it is possible to live free, party hard and ceaselessly fuck shit up even if you grow up in the housing project once known as LaSalle Place.

We also petition the Bored of Education to give Salmi a multi million dollar contract to rewrite the curriculum of Brian Godzilla Salmi Public School and warn all that if our wishes are not met we will Booze Up and Riot, which, not coincidently, is the title of Salmis first book that is available exclusively at:

www.brianGODZILLAsalmi.com.

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Ruby RyanBy:
Politics and GovernmentIn:
Petition target:
Lakehead Bored of Education

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