Bill Simmons for Blazers' GM sign now


We the undersigned believe that NBA VP of Common Sense, Bill Simmons, should be hired as the Portland Trail Blazers General Manager. In the words of the man himself, here are some compelling reasons why:

- "Running an NBA team comes down to two things: patience and common sense...[Simmons leads] the league in patience and common sense."

- "[He] won't get suckered by tremendous upside potential, bad character guys, contract runs, lethargic big men or anyone with the same sour puss that Bunk had when McNulty started to rig the homeless murders on The Wire."

- "[He cares] about chemistry and body language as much as talent".

As for his credentials:

- "In 2005, [he] wrote that the Bucks should take Chris Paul instead of Andrew Bogut."
- "In 2006, [he] won the NBA Cares Celebrity Fantasy League."
- "In 2007, [his] preseason prediction (San Antonio over Cleveland in the Finals) came to pass."

That's three years running where Simmons has flexed his muscle and given us a compelling reason why he is the man for the job. That's three reasons more than most GMs in the NBA.

In addition, his man-crush on Kevin Durant could lead to a blockbuster trade of Oden, JPEC (Joel Pryzbilla's Expiring Contract), and the right to attend Jimmy Kimmel's NFL viewing parties.

Finally, he wrote a really, really, really long book about basketball. Really long.

Sign this petition for Simmons in 2010!

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Paul Allen

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