Betelgeuse Supernova sign now

ATTN: Betelgeuse (α Ori, α Orionis, Alpha Orionis)

We, the following concerned Earthlings, hereby demand that you shall supernova with all immediate haste. It has been nearly a millennium since our globe has been graced with the fiery death of a stellar body and sadly our bodies have not, are not, and likely will not be able to live for such periods of time. It is for this reason that we require you to "go kablooey" (in the parlance of our time). For, we ascertain that we would harrumph approvingly if you were to supernova such that we had endless days while you shine brightly in the heavens.

You have had a good run in the galaxy and now your time has drawn and we demand for our celestial entertainment that you explode forthright.

P.S. We also especially request that care be taken to cause the light from this explosion to reach Earth at 23:23:23 on December 21, 2012 to really ratchet up the "crazy talk" from a subset of our population. So really, be sure you exploded on 3/05/1371. kthxbai!

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Susanne MccallBy:
Nature and EnvironmentIn:
Petition target:
The mattersoul of Betelgeuse

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