A Modest Proposal Concerning the Personal Fortunes of One Mike Tyson. sign now

On behalf of the Citizens in Mike Tyson's Honor Committee (CMTHC), I hereby object to all legal proceedings involving Mike Tyson and his alleged bankruptcy. This ludicrous situation has gotten out of control, and CMTHC has recently galvanized in an attempt to head the situation off before all rationality is lost.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Tyson is a pillar of our community. Mike Tyson single-handedly invented boxing as a sport that normal people actually watch. Other accomplishments by Mike include letting pidgeons eat out of his mouth, but doesn't this just show that he is a normal guy like you and me?

Haven't we all let pidgeons eat out of our mouths from time time? It's time that we forgot every bad thing Mike Tyson has ever done, and remember the good old times, when he used to punch the face off every person in existence and was officially the most dynamic sports superstar in the world.

Sadly, those times have passed now; these days Mike Tyson gets beaten up by idiotic british men, and Mike cannot even afford to spend $320,000 on mobile phones anymore.

Ladies and gentlemen, this injustice has to stop. CMTHC feels that Mike Tyson has earnt his place as the most perfect boxer to ever exist, and we hereby petition for a global Mike Tyson Benefit Tax.

This tax would be nothing major; it would just involve everyone on Earth being forced to give 11\% of their gross annual income to Mike Tyson. CMTHC believes that this sensible geopolitical strategy will allow Mike Tyson to never become poor again, and that after all, is the main thing.

So every person on Earth should sign this petition until it officially becomes some sort of law, and if you don't sign this petition you are automatically a loser.

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Goal reached !
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Latest Signatures

  • 09 December 2015100. Steve Saunders
    I support this petition
  • 17 November 201599. Ahura M
    The soduim-ammonia-alcohol system is not capable of reducing an unconjugated double bond except in certain isolated systems. How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? It is at first sight startling that Li-amine reductions can be carried out successfull
  • 31 July 201598. Sean R
    im a personal friend of mikes How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? everything i have
  • 24 May 201597. Jack Randall
    Awesome. How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 60000000000000000000
  • 14 March 201596. Kirk Charles
    Leave Mikie alone ! How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 1 dollar
  • 11 December 201495. Brennan R
    he fights good for a black guy How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? all my daddy gives me
  • 21 October 201494. Jesse Lam
    check out my website, www.goatse.cx How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? I would give him everything i earn AND steal
  • 01 October 201493. Don K
    I can get you a job as a judge in a beauty pagent. How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 12 bucks for a decent hair cut.
  • 29 September 201492. Jeff P
    I support this petition
  • 07 September 201491. Oscar A
    I support this petition
  • 16 August 201490. Dfroz Acevedo
    I support this petition
  • 29 March 201489. Stza Durham
    WOAH! How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? I give all I have
  • 23 March 201488. Thekaaz Evans
    wOOt! How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? I would actually take 3 or 4 from him...
  • 16 February 201487. D James
    d How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 1
  • 07 February 201486. Strongbad Foster
    Stop picking on Mike Tyson. How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? As many as possible
  • 08 December 201385. Charles Supergeniald
    Mike Tyson for President! How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? $500000000000000000000000000000000.99
  • 01 August 201384. Mike Bell
    I support this petition
  • 24 July 201383. Nick Good
    mike tyson is as close to a god as we will ever come How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? eleventy billion
  • 06 June 201382. Knob J
    Hehehehehe How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 1000000000000000000000000
  • 08 May 201381. Forest L
    Mike Tyson can kill you in a sword match, if he was using a sword sheath How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? Dodgeball
  • 31 March 201380. Sir S
    4 whole dollars How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 4
  • 25 February 201379. Gord Yu
    I'm porr, what can I say How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? $15...and half my RAM.
  • 07 February 201378. Mike B
    GO MIK TYSON!!!!1 How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 2497219805738297153209851632749862156321403219748907512896329876579813240512835632896427138508932519382064923511 cents.
  • 19 January 201377. Marlowe P
    I support this petition
  • 12 November 201276. Muyege Clements
    I support this petition
  • 12 July 201275. Pinocchio Michael
    penokia gangstar How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson? 1 gold or 1 marehoan (for relief)
  • 29 March 201274. Kevin Neversp
    We spoke of many things that hot afternoon in the artists studio above the newsroom: my beat apparent-Porter and Burns Harbor; the themes of the region-steel and NIPSCO and the Dunes; our mutual interest in military history-his especially for the American

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Information

Rebecca HarringtonBy:
SportIn:
Petition target:
U.S. Congress.

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