Renee Zellweger, Please Eat A Sandwich sign now

We, the undersigned, in the interest of preserving the health and well being of a future national treasure, do hereby petition and encourage Ms. Renee Kathleen Zellweger to indulge us the following:
1. That Ms. Zellweger will eat a sandwich at least once a week or within some other regularly scheduled reasonable time period,
2. That said sandwich will consist of (at least): two slices of bread, a portion of sandwich spread of Ms. Zellweger's choice, one slice of cheese or vegan cheese alternative, pieces or chunks of varied vegetation, and at least one slice or portion of meat or meat alternative,
3. That the sandwich be occasionally covered, partially or in whole, by gravy or some other saucy condiment, and
4. That Ms. Zellweger allow each sandwich to remain in her body until such time as the sandwich has been properly and thoroughly digested that her slight frame may benefit from the nourishments contained therein.

Renee, you are strong and beautiful; no doubt an inspiration to countless girls and women throughout the world. Your talent and tenacity have led you into the world of Hollywood's most recognizable, rewarded and sought after leading ladies. Though it is certainly and entirely your prerogative to adapt and adjust your appearance as you see fit, we feel that you are at your most beautiful and healthy at a slightly more robust BMI and heartily encourage you to take this petition to heart and eat a sandwich. Thanks.

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Latest Signatures

  • 07 August 20171. eifrjjtl (unverified)
    I support this petition

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Dennis MilesBy:
Culture and SocietyIn:
Petition target:
Renee Zellweger

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